Disfunction.

神聖!



As I promised, the above illustration is the March post for 'Shinsei'. It is much more elaborated then compared to the previous ones, but then, I realised I drew it with a lot of emotion.

I simply adore it.

Especially with Shizuru's hand reaching back for an uncertain Natsuki.




The simple oekaki above is none other than a reminder, for me actually, that I have to do up the Shinsei post on the 8th of every month. I tend to forget to upload the illustration, but I do get it done by the 8th. The final touches always change my signing date.

Oh well, that's another side of me.

NO SACRE, NO LIFE!

-

He said two sentences that made me feel so vulnerable to the world. However, I realised that was how life was, that was how life is going to be, and it won't change just for me. I (we) have to learn it the hard way, but I (we) can change my (our) behaviour for the better.

He said something like this:

'Still water runs deep.'

The other was,

'Wise men stays quiet.'

That is something I will keep with me. He is after all someone that has lived so long for me, and to love me, he gives me this.

For that I am glad.

-

Then again,

Cheers!

New.

Tomorrow, yes tomorrow...It is going to be a big and long day for me. However, I do not feel a thing for it. How depressing. Oh well, I just have to wait until the next day then, to see what exactly is going to happen.

-



Let's just say that this a preview picture of the March shinsei post illustration. I had forgotten to upload the picture, but no avail, I will have it up by tomorrow. It is after all the end of March tomorrow.

I must do what I must do.

-

'To be continued...' is a story I want to pick on today, since I realised that many reviewers had popped in messages saying that they wanted me to do a sequel for the one-shot.

Some said that they wanted the story of Natsuki and Shizuru when in University to be written, while others wanted me to do the lemon/lime scene when the two were in the tea ceremony room.

I am in contemplation on both, for I am afraid of making another mess like 'Photos of only you'. Then again, I realised that 'To be continued...' doesn't have a whirl and a twist in it, since its storyline is the simple relationship between the Lone Wolf and the Idol.

It's a love story.

However, my age limits me to write what exactly happens in university life. I am not even at an age to call myself an adult yet! Hearken, and I call myself a writer. Bah! Furthermore, I don't even know whether I can write a good lemon/lime. All my other stories have a dose of citrus, but not that explicit, with the exception of 'More than Fine' and 'Phantasm Finality'.

A sequel, or might as well say an exclusive story, just to please the readers for supporting my stories so much. I think I shall attempt it.

I take my words as actions. I think everyone will see an exclusive chapter just for 'To be continued...', a lemon/lime or the love story in adult life?

That is for one to guess.

-

Then again,

Cheers!

Autumn.

As one can see the above sketches of my experiment, which the end result and product is the creation of the newest story, part of the Mai-Hime one-shot series, 'To be continued...'

I am thrilled!

I had never done up a story that were based on sketches that I had did out of pure boredom. Let me just say that I was low on impulses and I needed to get something out from my dying brain of mine. Sitting down all day doesn't suit me, I don't even know how I am surviving illustrating.

Sometime, the human body impresses me.

More like the human mind actually.

It does wonders.

-

'Paper doll', chapter 11 is coming! The second arc is something not to be missed, I assure all that it will definitely surprise some but maybe not, since I have already given such a huge clue on the past for both main characters. It all depends on how one sees it.

Thank you for the hard work.

-

*Mature warning- Nudity is shown below.



The above illustration is titled 'Aki No Hoketsu' which means Autumn Vacancy, or simply Autumn's Vacancy. Neither or them makes a difference. Those whose have already seen it in my deviantart homepage, I am sure you would know why the illustration is drawn.

There is always a reason.

However, I post it here to tie it with an answer to a simple question from another reviewer that had sent me a private message; that does not want to be mentioned by her penname. Anyway, her question was a such, I quote,

'J-san, it sounds weird to be asking you this, but my curiosity gets to me every time I read about her when you mention her in your postings. Who is Aki?'

I give a huge a smile in return. That's a first, since no one really bothered to ask about Aki, I never bothered to bring up who exactly Aki is.

Q: Who is Aki?
A: She is my muse.

Simple isn't it?

Then one may ask what has the illustration to do with anything about this current topic I am talking about. Well, just to say that when I translate Aki's name into English, it means Autumn.

Furthermore, part of my Japanese name when said is 'Aki'. Ironically, my muse and I share the same name, in Japanese that is. However, 'Aki' in my name doesn't share the same meaning as my muse's name. Mine on the other hand means vacancy and much more to the meaning of emptiness.

Hence, the illustration is a tie in to 'Autumn Vacancy', if one gets what I mean. Just a quick note, if one has read my original fiction 'Autumn Vacancy', it has references to my life and Aki's life, as well. Well said if I would say that she was the one that inspired me to write that story since she said that I had the identity crisis then.

Aki, aki, aki... We use to mix each other up back then.

Therefore, the illustration above can might as well be said that it is a representation of Aki and I. One can go and guess who is who.

That my readers, is another story, for another time.

-

Then again,

Cheers!

Innocent.

This is nothing but the result of falling sick on the last two days of a sailing competition. I can't help but say that it does bring to do a lot more than I thought I can do.

This is a product of a try. I have never ever used copic markers to colour my art pieces and this one is indeed a bold try or rather risk to take on such an illustration. I was terrified when colouring. Much to fact that my colour orientation will lead me to bring someone's face into a shade of purple.

Ugh.

As the katakana written on the illustration reads, it is none other than for my current Mai-Hime fan story 'Innocent starters'. It is not surprising for me to throw in my all time favourite character, Tokiha Mai, into the lives of those two innocent starters.

My bad to say that Reito's hair is grey this time round. Quite sorry to say that I didn't have any colour darker than C3 grey and marker black. Yuuichi makes his presence with a grown up Tokiha Takumi.

I never knew just pencilling down Takumi would earn me quite a lot of eraser dust. This is called no reference illustration... No wonder why my table is littered with dust.

Then again, I hope all will continue reading 'Innocent starters' until the very end.

*The exclusive chapter will come, but only until the very end of the coming winter. It is not part of the new year isn't it?

Thank you for the hard work.

-

'Paper doll' chapter 10 is going to uploaded soon. Followed closely by the ever so intriguing and exciting chapter 11 of the second arc of 'Paper doll'.

Originally titled as Katashiro, the second arc of this addictive story brings the readers into a new insight of the life of the one and only religious paper doll maker Kuga Natsuki and the mysterious past of her paper doll servant Shizuru. What will happen within the confines of the Grand Shrine of Ise located in quietness of Kansai?

This brings me to the conclusion of the first arc and the start of the second.

I hope all will enjoy and continue to read 'Paper doll'.

-

Then again,

Cheers!

Insecurity.

This is called a post to ease all the words that have been stored up within me from all the reviews I get from fanfiction.

On a quick post note, this post will be like all reviews, center on the topic they critique on. This lucky Mai-Hime fan story that has been chosen to be picked upon is none other than the very recently updated:

'Innocent starters.'

I realised I had done one post much centered on a review by Waffle, refer to post title 'Melty', whose review on 'Innocent starters' caught my attention like a moth to a flame.

Nonetheless, here, I realise that no one bothers to read my notes I put at the end at each chapter! I am quite angry, but I notice that not everyone has the time to drop by and read a boringly long post.

However, I really do hope that my reviewers for 'Innocent starters' read this. Simply because, I hate the fact that I'm repeating myself!

Then, I will not babble on,

-

Like Waffle had noticed, another review penned by WouldBeSenpai wrote in his review, I quote:

'Why a JR line conductor? True, the job doesn't seem completely unlike what Natsuki would do. Yes, she is a rebel, but that attitude often puts people at a disadvantage when it comes to employment. So I could understand why she may not have done well in the job market. But how did she actually get the job?'

His first question I would like to answer with another review penned by Glowie, who wrote this, I quote:

'I have to say that I couldn't agree with Natsuki's job (not saying that she enjoys it but...). I know most fics make her somewhat "stupid" but she's the rebel that does things she enjoys...conductor of the local JR line just spells "boring" and "putting on a smiling face" and it just doesn't seem like a job Natsuki would take even if she's starving.'

I nod my head and give a meek smile. Now here I would give a bow of acknowledgement and say:

'I really thank you for the reviews that make me think and answer in a way that makes me excited and at the same time awkwardly intrigued about how everything is proceeding.'

It just seems that some just can't figure out why I put Natsuki working as a JR line attendant at Mitaka Station.

I will answer:

-

*Read the post titled 'Melty' first if you want to know where I'm heading.

Waffle reviewed saying that the fandom reduces a character like Kuga into something like a blue collar worker or some part of the the 'working class'...

I have to state a fact that yes being a JR line conductor is a blue collar job. Sitting behind the glass of the attending counter at the station is tiring to no end, furthermore, attending to more than a hundred people in a day. Work shifts of the rush hour and control the trains that travel in and out of the station. I must say that working as JR line attendant, time will never be their friend, because everything must be spot on.

Or else everything will run late.

That I am not joking, a month or so in Japan is something I realised that time is essential and everything is clockwork, systematic and sometimes suffocating.

'Why a JR line conductor?'

Yes, Natsuki is a rebel. That a fact that I'm sure everyone knows. It is a hard attitude to break, but so many things can happen in those seven years that one changes completely. A few may say, 'Show me the figures.'

I may say that I don't have such figures, but apparently I am one that has undergone such a big change in around the same length of time of five years, from a delinquent/rebel much like Natsuki to a person much more well-mannered, listening and understanding.

I'm not trying to promote myself or put Natsuki into a character much like me. However, I do know that changes do happen, much unexpectedly, at the most unexpected times, to the most unexpected people.

In 'Innocent starters', I would just like to say that Natsuki is the unexpected person to fall into the category were she undergoes changes were she, her attitude and personality of being a rebel is suppressed to allow herself to show who she actually is behind the girl that was hooded by seeking revenge for her mother.

Environment and the people around can impact one just like that. It is an impact much to say.

Take seven years, since it was the time I mentioned in the first chapter, it is much enough to change one from a rebel into someone totally different. Much to say, that I have friends that are so. I write base on experience, though some may argue to say, 'How old are you to say that you can base on experience?'

Age does limit me. I am not even at the age to say I am an adult, however, I can say, that I have experienced more than I even want to know. I own my eyes.

Therefore, I state, why Natsuki has apparently been noted in my story that her 'rebel attitude' is placing her in the wrong job, like a 'boring' JR line conductor. My answer is simple,

'Natsuki has changed.'

Then again, some would argue, Natsuki is stubborn, how could she have changed?

I would then humbly bow into defeat and say,

'Say what you have to say, think what you have to think. I cannot force you to think like what I want you to think.'

I prefer my readers to stay the way they are to anything. It is what makes us different and unique. That is what makes things interesting.

Hence, to WouldBeSenpai, I hope that answers why Natsuki was actually able to get the job as JR line station attendant.

I get the feeling that another question would then be, 'If Natsuki changed for the better, then why isn't she working like in a business like Shizuru?'

My answer is another simple one,

'Please read 'Innocent starters' again, for I know that I have stated in one of the daily slices of life that Natsuki had another job before working as a JR line station attendant.'

If one would ask,

'Then why did she change her job from that to a JR line station attendant?'

I laugh it off and bow humbly,

'Then you would have to read on to find out.'

I do not plainly throw in random information without thinking.

WouldBeSenpai then carried on with another question, I quote,

'Why were they(*Shizuru and Natsuki) separated for three years, and why would Natsuki suddenly return?'

I laugh happily. Simply because I have to say that I am already planning to do an exclusive chapter to just show you how these two innocent starter reunited. Natsuki didn't go and find Shizuru, neither did Shizuru go and find Natsuki. It was just to say...a coincidence?

A spoiler by the way, but then, it keeps the suspense.

I would like to backtrack, because further on, WouldBeSenpai stated that Natsuki IS a rebel and Natsuki would want to provide for her partner. I agree to that.

Then one would question me and state that I just contradicted my explanation. I look on in amusement and state logically,

'Natsuki's rebel attitude didn't vanish completely despite being changed completely. Her rebel side/attitude was just suppressed by her true self, but indeed she does have times where her rebel attitude resurfaces momentarily.'

I have stated that previously, the word suppress doesn't mean vanish.

Hence, that is why I agree to that.

If one didn't notice, I have written Natsuki to have matured into someone more mellow and listening than into someone just dashing out to do plain rational actions. It is all based on the fact that Natsuki personality has changed in those seven years.

Thank you WouldBeSenpai for such a wonderful review, you have actually made my tired day much less tiring.

I bow: Thank you for the hard work.

-

Alison! I might say that I am happy that you have enjoyed the recent chapter of 'Innocent starters.'. I'm surprised that one likes summer, is it not hot like a furnace under the summer heat?

Autumn much to my liking is in tie much to my Japanese name. Hence I have too somehow grown a link in liking Autumn when I usually visit Japan in the Autumn. I would gladly say that the chapters to come would be something like the first two.

'Innocent starters' is a story that allows me to relax, so I tend to go with the flow when I write. I don't think so much like when I write 'Paper doll'.

About the love stones at Jishu Shrine...Yes I do have quite a bad sense of direction, that is a very good guess! However, almost into a bush, it makes me laugh, in a happy way, that I'm going nowhere.

I'm not destined to find love at such a young age. Even though most may say that love is best enjoyed when young. However, I find that I am still bit too young to find love.

I digress like always.

-

My hands are a gift and I am extremely happy with them because here I type to all that have been reading my fan stories, even those who are not interested but have clicked on it to give it a peek:

THANK YOU!

-

Then again,

Cheers!

Exclusive.

It's a wonder that 'Paper doll' is getting me more focused on my daily activities. Maybe it's simply because of the fact that I have to use my diary to get everything planned out.

Like I have said from chapter 9 of Paper doll, that chapter 10 will be the end of the first arc and chapter 11 the start of the second arc. The above illustration is a quick not-detailed one that I have done up for the second arc. As one can see that two more characters will be inside the second arc.

Nonetheless, it is still a story centered around Natsuki and Shizuru. The appearance of Tokiha Mai and her brother Takumi is just to make the story more visual and realistic in the olden times of Japan.

Apart from 'Paper doll', I've been doing up the second chapter of 'Innocent starters' because of the simple fact that I needed a break from writing such typical and upsettingly long one-shots.

I tend to curse myself. Pardon my weird behaviour. Stress has somehow not kicked my gear box yet.

Then again, Thank you for all the hard work.

-

I was at a seminar recently and I noticed that one of the speakers spent seven more minutes talking about himself when 5 minutes earlier was used to introduce him to us, the listeners.

I barely listened after the first 7 minutes and I nodded off looking through the papers I was given.

At times like these, I wished that I had at least looked through what the programmes and talks that would be held were going to be like.

-

Then again,

Cheers!

Premiere.

Like always, I have my share of love with the norm and I like it to be that way for a while. The above illust is dated from last month, but I couldn't take my eyes of it for a while, so I decided to share the love from it with all. I hope one enjoys it.

-

It is decided that the story 'Paper doll' will have an exclusive short illustrated story put aside. I know I have a lot of illustrations for my stories yet to be uploaded here, but no avail, I will upload it when my scanner is not causing so much problems for me.

It will be centered, like its' fiction, around Shizuru and Natsuki; an event prior to the main story that is currently in-progress on fanfiction. This story has taken quite a lot of attention from me lately, and it somewhat gives me the urge to continue to write more. Slightest due to the fact that I have to make every chapter short due the fact I'm writing it with pencil.

Such an excuse...bah!

'Akeome the longest battle' chapter 4 is currently under draft stage, so as said in the previous post, it will most likely come out after the upload of a new one-shot.

Hold all thoughts, but sadly the up coming one-shot is not 'And I was the concierge'. I am very sorry to all that have been anxiously waiting for its arrival, but that one-shot has a long history that I have deal with. However, I assure that it will come.

On another note, I have been looking for someone to do a collaboration with since Aki is busy for this month. So if there is anyone out that is in to do up a challenge, let's see what we can do.

Thank you for the hard work!

-

My teacher picks on me since my name that is called in class is the easiest to remember. All she does is just say: my name, my name, my name.

Oh well.

Then again, it is fun when you answer to your name that you always wanted to hear.

No a lot of people call me by that name.

-

I stood in front of the shop, looking quite dumbly at the set that was displayed out in front. My eyes skipped to the price and I realised my wallet had not even a single cent inside and I had to find a way to get home.

Finally after some time, I managed to pull myself away from the shop. Another time, I said to myself.

Sigh. How much public transportation cost these days.

-

Then again,

Cheers!